Utilizing the Mental Aid Stations in Life: It's Okay to Reach Out for Help!

People often have this idea ingrained in them that they have to handle things on their own, and they are weak if they need help sometimes. Combine that with the stigmatization of mental illness and the misunderstanding concerning what therapy really is, and many people that would benefit from therapy are left to struggle on their own.

Well let's put an end to those misunderstandings now!

The reason for my blog title, 'The Mental Aid Station,' was inspired by an event in my own life when I was too stubborn to utilize the help available. When I was training for my first marathon, I signed up for a half marathon as part of my training plan. Since I was in the marathon training mindset, I decided I didn't really need to re-hydrate much because it was 'only a half.' Basically, I thought I was too good for the aid stations...which I learned was a serious mistake. Finally, at mile 11, I realized how dehydrated I was and grabbed a water cup and quickly threw it in my mouth, barely geting any (as runners often do in races). When I crossed the finish line, I was so exhausted and lightheaded! The people in the medical tent spotted me, and I must have looked really bad because they kept asking if I was okay. I said, 'yes,' but they didn't believe me because I looked like I was going to pass out. They insisted I go to the medical tent to re-hydrate and warm up (the race involved freezing cold rain and wind). I felt so silly, but I learned an important lesson that goes beyond just running races.

We all have times in our lives when everything seems to crush us at once, and it is more than we can bear. These are often times of transition in life, such as:

• Trying to recover from a divorce or hitting a rocky point in your marriage
• Adjusting to the pressures of adulthood, often as a new college student
• Feeling a lack of purpose in life as an empty-nester
• Facing postpartum depression or anxiety as a new mom
• Emotionally processing a serious diagnosis--whether it be physical or mental
• Trying to function in daily life after experiencing trauma

              And the list goes on...

Misunderstanding #1: My problems aren't severe enough for therapy

It doesn't need to be a big event to get you down; little things can add up over time.  I learned as a crisis counselor that sometimes people would bring up these seemingly insignificant issues--such as getting a bad haircut--that brought them to the point of being suicidal (although there was always more to it once you dig deeper). There's no reason to feel like your problems aren't BIG enough to justify seeing a therapist. People perceive the difficulty of problems differently, so stop comparing your problems to someone else's, and start getting in tune with your own feelings and needs.

Misunderstanding #2: Therapy is only for seriously mentally ill people

Honestly, therapy can benefit anyone, and it is too bad it isn't available to more people. While it is true that insurance companies will only cover sessions when there is a diagnosis, that doesn't mean it needs to be a serious one. The DSM 5 (the diagnostic gold-standard for mental illness) has a wide range of diagnoses, and some, like Adjustment Disorder, only require having symptoms for a short period.  There are some serious mental illnesses, however, that people may not even realize they suffer from because that is what they have always known, and they are still able to function fairly well in life. For example, many clients I have worked with who suffer from OCD are incredibly intelligent and high-functioning despite their compulsions, but the intense anxiety they feel every day is not easy to live with. The realization that other people's thoughts don't get stuck in loops like theirs do all the time gives them hope for relief someday with treatment. 

Misunderstanding #3: All therapists are basically the same, so if I tried one that wasn't a good fit, I shouldn't try it again.

The therapeutic relationship between the therapist and client plays a major role in the success of therapy. So if you don't feel like your therapist understands you, or if you don't feel like you can connect with and trust them, then it is time to start shopping around for another therapist. Also, if your therapist simply sits there and gives advice, you probably should find a different one because the art of therapy involves much more than advice-giving. Sidenote: don't worry too much about how the session 'should' be. Leave your preconceived notions at the door. Your therapy session is your therapy session. It goes however you personally need it to go.  If you have a random thing on your mind you feel the need to process, don't wait around for your therapist to read your mind and ask about it, bring it up and discuss it in session!

Misunderstanding #4: Therapy is not affordable

Unfortunately, mental health coverage is often pretty minimal by insurance plans, but there are other options available. Does your employer have an employee assistance program you could utilize? Are you a college student? If so, your fees often cover the cost of a few sessions. Why not use them? It might not be the best therapy or specialized to your needs, but it gives you a place to start. There are many therapy students out there looking for clients, and that can be a very affordable option. There are some therapists that accept sliding scale payments based on how much you make. In fact, I happen to be one of those therapists! I believe there should be affordable therapy options available for everyone. However, if you absolutely cannot pay anything for therapy and are in crisis and really need someone to talk to, I would recommend calling or texting a crisis line. 741-741 is a great option, and they have thoroughly trained counselors.  Sometimes just making the first call to a therapy office can relieve some stress and lighten your burden. 

                  So what is stopping you? Try it out and stop passing up the aid stations in life!